Week 11: Cleveland at Baltimore

Well, that’s enough of that. The Ravens gulled us for the last time last week. By Week 10, of course, we were well aware of Baltimore’s myriad problems, but figured that there was still no way they could fail to score against a Bengals defense that routinely gives up 70-plus points in local charity games against area high schools. Sure, Baltimore coach Brian Billick would be barking out illogical play-calls from behind aviator shades as if he was auditioning for a role in a movie called Young Schottenheimer. Sure Steve McNair would be playing quarterback despite being a risk to fly apart if tackled too hard. But it was the Bengals, right? Right? Tell us we were right!

Eh, it’s okay: we were wrong. The Ravens turned the ball over six times (four of them in the fourth quarter), and McNair and Kyle Boller both threw interceptions in Cincy’s end zone. Boller will take over for McNair, who has one of those Steve McNair injuries that no one else would even be tough enough to sustain. In this case, it’s something called a subluxation of the shoulder, and it means that it is more or less constantly popping out of its socket. Sure it sounds cool, but it when that’s happening – parts of one’s body flying away from one’s body just, you know, whenever – maybe it’s time to spend Sundays with the kids? Or at least give the ball to RB Willis McGahee more? We’ll see, of course, what path the Ravens choose against one of the few defenses in Cincinnati’s (remedial) class this Sunday.

Cleveland’s D – let’s call them The Brown Group – is among the NFL’s worst in ways both measurable and unmeasurable. Only one team gives up more passing yards than The Brown Group, no team has yielded as many passing touchdowns (22) or gives up more total yards (410.6) or points per game (29.3). On the unmeasurable side of things, there’s this: these guys are goofballs. It’s hard to explain what we mean until you watch CB Leigh Bodden spin around in coverage like Beavis in Cornholio mode or witness the collection of disinterested fat dudes they’re suiting up as a defensive line. Watch, and you will know.

Their terrible point- and yards-allowed numbers will come down some against Baltimore, probably, but if the Ravens can score more than 26 points on anyone – they’ve yet to do so this season – it might as well be a team that gives up nearly 30 points during an average game. If the Ravens stick with McGahee, who hasn’t logged 20 carries since Week 6, they’ll likely eat up plenty of yards and keep Cleveland’s solid offense off the field. Of course, if they do that, Billick would be denying Ravens fans an opportunity to watch the most puzzlingly ineffective pass offense of this era. We don’t see that happening. Billick just likes incomplete four-yard passes too much.

The Ravens defense has had serious injury problems all season long, and their injury report lists one starter (frequent burn victim CB Samari Rolle) as out and five others (including stars Chris McAllister and Ed Reed) as questionable at press time. They’re still fifth in the NFL in yards-allowed, and no team with this linebacking corps should ever be counted out. But, as strange as it feels to type this – and keep typing it every week – we’re not sure they can keep up with the Browns offense.

Despite not looking good against Pittsburgh in Week 10, and despite the fact that they’re getting little from RB Jamal Lewis and anxiously waiting for QB Derek Anderson to remember that he’s Derek Anderson, we’re kind of believing in this Browns offense. Their focus on the passing game should give them an opportunity to put pressure on the Ravens’ spotty secondary and perhaps put the game out of reach quickly. If the Browns’ patchwork O-line can keep Ravens’ pass-rushers like Terrell Suggs out of Anderson’s face, he should find plenty of open looks downfield. And as has become rather predictably the case with the Ravens, three touchdowns should be enough to put this one out of reach. This season has been bummer city for Charm City fans so far, and we don’t see that changing this week. But Baltimore fans will at least have the comfort of Utz’s Crab Chips to help them through the remaining six weeks and we, at least, have learned our lesson.

Browns by 6