Horsepower Rankings: Bristol

1. Kyle Busch

2. Dale Earnhardt Jr.  At what point will the late-race communication between driver and crew chief improve?

3. Carl Edwards  Best thing about Carl’s Bristol ride? Putrid Aflac paint scheme replaced by familiar red and black colors.

4. Greg Biffle  In my never-ending  — and somewhat irrelevant — quest to shake “The Biff” as Greg’s nickname, I’m suggesting “The Tax Man.” Get used to it, folks. I’m going to harp on this weekly if that’s what it takes.

5. Kevin Harvick  Harvick is the one and only person to have wronged Tony and not gotten absolutely blasted for it by said driver in post-race interviews. Heck, Tony even verbally assaults drivers that don’t wreck him.

6. Jeff Burton  It’s called karma, baby. Burton is a walking, talking glob of karma.

7. Jeff Gordon “What's up with that 88 bunch, Steve? We'd have made the right pit call if we were in the top 5. Right Steve?... Steve?"  <click>  "What's that Jeff? We're eating ice cream."

8. Matt Kenseth  “Seriously Chip, can we use one of those robots as a stand-in at Martinsville?”

9. Tony Stewart  Stewart’s guest bedroom at Harvick’s house now comes equipped with Bondo and sledgehammer. For the trouble.

10. Kasey Kahne  No truth to the report that Kahne will his parlay 15-second dance routine into a stint on Dancing with the Stars with his partner, the brunette Allstate Girl.

11. Denny Hamlin  Warned you guys about that fuel system in this very column last week, guys. Guess I’m not on the “preferred reading list" at JGR.

12. Ryan Newman  News flash: Newman ranks third on circuit in number of Quality Passes… whatever the hell that means.

13. Clint Bowyer  Sorry if I’m totally out of date here, but I just found out that Clint and Athena Barber are no more — and that it’s been that way for a while. Oh well, at least he still has the best looking car in the garage area.

14. Kurt Busch  Busch contemplates reversing ear-job after team learns more about rear-wing’s end plates and the side force they produce.

15. Martin Truex Jr.  Watching Truex hand out free Bas Pro rod and reels to the Trackside crew last Friday night really made me question my line of work.