Week 5: Cincinnati at Dallas

Some days you just wake up feeling so good. Yeah, you’re in a poor, bigoted city in Southeastern Ohio. Yes, you’re the general manager of a NFL franchise that’s more than a decade removed from its last playoff appearance. And the naysayers could also point out that your team has struggled hugely not only to score, but to conceal evident and serious intra-team disdain issues. This is the sort of thing people could be bummed out about. But today, you’re feeling great: WR Chris Henry’s four-game suspension (for driving drunk while waving a pistol or something distinctly Henry-ian) is over, for instance, so that’s good.

Also, you might well remind the negative nellies that there’s a new backup running back in town: a fellow by the name of Cedric Benson, who – need you remind anyone – was never actually indicted on those alcohol-related arrests this offseason. Yes, all the running backs are injured, except for ineffective starter Chris Perry, but you could do worse, as an exec than to plug in the fourth overall pick from 2005 as a sub. And Carson Palmer might be able to play this week, even though his strained throwing arm is swollen and painful. He’s the franchise quarterback, remember, so it’s always nice to have one of those on the field!

If this seems like a depressingly deluded way to go through life, let us reassure you that the person described above doesn’t exist. It’s possible that there are Bengals fans psyched about the arrival of Henry and Benson, of course, but the Bengals don’t have a general manager, and make their (generally poor) personnel decisions through a more opaque process. They do have an ultra-flubby ownership family in the Brown clan, and it’s probably at their feet (at least in part) that the blame for the Bengals rapid decompensation over the last season-plus should be laid. But while the Bengals will lose a lot of games this year, Cincinnati has indeed looked a little bit better over the last two weeks. No, we’re not still in second-person character as that sunshine-good-times imaginary GM.

And no, we’re certainly not suggesting that the Bengals will beat the Cowboys on the road. They won’t. But while the Bengals’ offensive line has been terrible – they’ve allowed a dozen sacks in three games, and haven’t been able to open any holes for the running game – and the defense still is totally punchless, the team is at least no longer in open revolt against itself. It’s unlikely that the defense will be able to continue to keep teams from scoring if it can’t rush the passer (it can’t) or generate takeaways (it hasn’t), but so far it has managed to keep teams off the board. The offense struggled with backup Ryan Fitzpatrick under center next week – and could do so again here, if Palmer is unable to go – and still can’t block anyone. But they’re not quite as bad as they looked over the season’s first two weeks.

And despite their Week 4 loss to the Redskins, we still think the Cowboys are about as good as they’ve looked so far. That’s a fairly complicated compliment – they have looked like a team that makes a lot of mistakes in the passing game and can’t generate turnovers, for instance – but for the most part it’s praise. It’s hard to imagine them winning a Super Bowl if they don’t get more efficient and balanced on offense, but they have enough talent and depth throughout to beat most teams. The Bengals certainly fall into that “most teams” category. Their imaginary GM may have reason for optimism – better ones than those cited above, most notably an improved run defense and talented offensive corps – but we wouldn’t hold out much hope for the stripey guys this week.

COWBOYS BY 10