Week 5: Washington at Philadelphia

Two lower back injuries, a bad ankle injury and an upper chest contusion. Oh, and a sports hernia and a concussion. There’s a straight-faced dullness to the average NFL injury report that makes it disarmingly easy to shrug off. But that list of afflictions on the Eagles’ offensive unit – on the offensive unit alone – is somewhat harder to ignore. Not a single one of those sounds pleasant in the least, which is unsurprising, but it’s hard not to feel some sort of sympathy twinge for Donovan McNabb dragging his contused upper chest into harm’s way or should-be number one receiver Kevin Curtis somehow rehabbing a hernia, which is an injury so implausibly unpleasant to describe that I suggest you look it up yourself and then never speak of it.

How that myriad of injuries will effect the Eagles’ play on the field is, of course, the thing that we’re supposed to deal with here, even as we find ourselves more and more preoccupied with how it’ll effect them off the field. How does one sleep with an upper chest contusion? Does backup RB Tony Hunt get paid enough for the lite brain damage incurred during his concussion to be worth it for him to hustle back this week? How does one incur a sports hernia, and is it worth your author’s while to remain in his apartment at all times to avoid such a fate? It’s tough to know the answers to any of these questions, but beyond the obvious reasons, that’s in part due to the fact that the Eagles have been one of the NFL’s harder teams to figure this year.

Their offense has been surprisingly good even without many of its main players in the lineup – although they struggled mightily without RB Brian Westbrook in Week 4; he’s still questionable for this week – and QB Donovan McNabb, chest contusion or no, is playing like the multifaceted, reliably bearded threat he was a few years ago. The defense has been another story: they shut down the Rams (duh) and Steelers (huh), but gave up a ton of big plays against the Cowboys and inexplicably allowed Kyle Orton to carve them up in Week 4’s loss to the Bears. No NFL team is currently better against the run, and the Eagles’ personnel and improving pass rush certainly suggests that they’ll get better against the pass. The specifics aren’t clear yet, but for now we’re comfortable saying that Philly is probably better than its 2-2 record, but also probably not better than Washington.

Which is surprising, considering how awful Washington looked early in the season. But the offense is blossoming in Coach Jim Zorn’s opened-up scheme, and QB Jason Campbell should continue to improve now that the line has OT Jon Jansen back at full strength. On defense, the ‘Skins have kept teams off balance and delivered a handful of very big performances against the pass.

It’s probably not likely that WR Santana Moss will be around 150 yards receiving each week, or that the team will continue to slot in inexperienced d-backs and get performances like the one they got from rookie safety Chris Horton delivered in last week’s eye-opening win over Dallas. But that unlikelihood – like the unlikelihood of your author suffering a sports hernia while typing – doesn’t make its prospect any less scary to consider. At some point, the Redskins will either come back to earth or your author is going to start having to take this bunch of goofballs seriously. For the time being, we’re going to get started on the second option, and hopefully avoid herniating anything in the process.

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