Week 1: Kansas city at New England

Oh man, these guys again? The scowling coach in the cutoff sweatshirt and the Steve Spurrier-style scoring differentials in blowouts and that distinctive brittle, sour corporate loathsomeness? Those dudes?

Well, not quite. The Patriots are somewhat changed from last year’s dourly dominant 18-1 squad, and while most of the principal players are all still in place — although QB Tom Brady and linchpin LT Matt Light have been hurt all preseason — they enter 2008 looking somewhat less scary than they did last year. But while losing a bunch of major contributors from throughout their defense to retirement and free agency won’t help much, they’re still the Patriots. Which is to say that they still have the league’s best quarterback, best wide receiver, best coach, and are still one of the NFL’s very best teams.

Oh, and they should also continue to give inexplicably pissed-off-seeming interviews after winning, that probably won’t change, either. They should be able to get some practice on their “Winning’s nice for you guys, but we’re just looking forward to Week 2” line delivery this Sunday, at least. Injured shoulder or no, Brady will almost certainly be able to manage at least a few ostentatiously disdainful, eye-contact-free quotes after lighting up the Chiefs.

Kansas City had its moments last year, mostly on defense, but it lost its last nine games a lot more convincingly than it won four of its first seven and are still deep in rebuilding mode. The defense has been struggling with injuries through the preseason and will confront the explosive New England offense with a host of dinged-up vets and extremely green rookies. The Chiefs defense has excellent linebackers and a lot of young talent on its D-line, and the Patriots’ gimpy offensive line looked pretty fallible during the preseason, but the disparity in quality between these two units is still pretty striking. And, if this even needs to be said, it’s greatly in favor of the scowling dudes with the stylized John Kerry-looking tricorn-hat guy on their helmets.

On the other side, it’s probably worse. The Chiefs are working on overhauling their offensive line, which probably doesn’t bode very well for RB Larry Johnson and QB Brodie Croyle here. Even with the weaknesses in the Patriots coverage guys and linebacking corps, it’s hard to imagine Brodie Croyle picking anyone apart behind this offensive line. Or…kind of, really, behind any offensive line. But definitely from behind this one.

If a fun day doesn’t seem to be in the offing for Croyle and the Chiefs, though, rest assured that the Patriots won’t be having any fun, either. It’s what makes them great (or something), and it’s definitely what makes them the Patriots. What the Patriots will be this year is kind of up in the air, but these two things seem likely: “likable” won’t be it, and, at least in Week 1, they’ll probably be winners.

PATRIOTS BY 15