Extra Points: Week 9

LONGSCOREMEN
It’s been bandied about that Week 9 was the first slate of games since 1958 in which there were three 100-yard plays. But that was just the Cliffs Notes version of “Big-Play Sunday.” There were, in fact, 18 touchdowns of at least 40 yards, scored in six different ways with an average of 68 yards per play. Here’s the itemization, with the length of the score:

PASSES: 80, 73, 60, 49, 45, 42, 40
KO RETURNS: 100, 100, 86
INT RETURNS: 75, 66, 46
RUSHES: 64, 56, 46
PUNT RETURN: 94
MISSED FG RETURN: 109

NO THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES
If you’re a public figure who’s been arrested for placing an order at a fast-food drive-thru while naked, you’d give your left chicken nugget for the incident to go away in the media. Just when Lions defensive line coach Joe Cullen thought the memory of his “incident” of August, 2006, was on its last gasp, it was resuscitated by his own quarterback. For some reason, Jon Kitna thought it would be funny for him to stretch on a bodysuit and attend a charity Halloween party UNdressed as Cullen. He was accompanied by his wife, who donned in a Wendy’s uniform, complete with an order-window headset. Unsurprisingly, word got back to the Detroit Free-Press. That brilliant move by Kitna utterly defies analysis, considering that many Lions players consider him their ethical compass. There is no athlete in the NFL more in-your-face pious — so pious that he considers wearing long hair contrary to Biblical teachings. We’re not even sure if Kitna’s personal beliefs are relevant to the discussion, but they certainly add to the bewilderment. Some evangelicals don’t even “do” Halloween. The only possible explanation is that Kitna, on an unrelenting mission to establish himself as a leader, was sending a “get-over-it” message to his teammates. We doubt that Cullen’s gotten over it.

BUMP AND RUN
Extra Points’ recurring installment of slapdash observation and imprudent opinion:

Even an NFL rookie has a better perspective than a knucklehead with TiVo and a computer keyboard, so we’ll take seriously the opinion of Browns tackle Joe Thomas when he says that not Tom Brady, not Peyton Manning, not Randy Moss, is the best player in the game right now. It is, he says, Walter Jones.

Hard to believe that, until Sunday, there was a team Brett Favre had never beaten. The Chiefs became the last notch in his holster.

QUOTABLE
“Instead of talking to the media, why don’t you go watch some film?” — Steve Smith interrupting rookie Dwayne Jarrett’s media interviews after Carolina’s loss to Indy. (When Jarrett kept talking, Smith added, “Seriously.”)

And the latest from Lions wide-mouth receiver Roy Williams:

“My son can run the West Coast system, and he’s only 2.” (Pooh-poohing the adulation former Lions QB Jeff Garcia has been receiving in Tampa Bay lately.)

“Dré is not a hitter, period. Dré is a no-hitter. Isn't that a term in baseball, a no-hitter? He’s a no-hitter.” (On Denver CB Dre Bly, a former teammate. Detroit romped, but their head-to-head grudge match was pretty much a draw.)

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