Short Hops makes its final 2007 appearance

COMPANY...HALT
That was Jeff Clement circling the bases last Friday, but who was that following him? The Seattle rookie had just poled a tie-breaking two-homer in the bottom of the ninth to shock the Rangers and was halfway through the second home run trot of his career when he spotted someone taking full bodily aim at him. The intruder was Yuniesky Betancourt. The shortstop thought he’d seen Clement’s blast bounce before it went over the fence and had scurried out to second base to accost his teammate after his game-winning “ground-rule double.” Closer J.J. Putz called it “one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen in my life. He was on a dead sprint. It was like when Hank Aaron broke that home run record and he was running around.”

MANAGERIAL MELTDOWN
If the Mets win the award for worst choke job by a team, the literal leader in the clubhouse for worst choke job by a manager is Ned “Calming Influence” Yost. If he was in your bunker, he’d be the guy screaming “Fire in the hole!” when somebody farted. The Milwaukee skipper became unglued when things got sticky, getting himself ejected three times — and suspended — during the tense final week. He quite possibly undermined what was otherwise a watershed season for the Brewers, who lost three straight and finished two games back of the Cubs. And although it was announced that Yost, who otherwise did an excellent job, would return for 2008, GM Doug Melvin implied that he shouldn’t start any major home improvement projects. “I’m not prepared to make a change with Ned at this point,” was his vote of tepid confidence. Melvin may, however, be commencing preparation.

ROOKIE HELLOWEEN
September is rookie-hazing season. On the flights to their final destinations of the year, some of the fall fashions on display were Joba Chamberlain as the Cowardly Lion, Edwar Ramirez as the Wicked Witch of the West, Ian Kennedy as Dorothy, Dice-K as a Teletubby and Alberto Callaspo as the white-on-white tooth fairy, complete with her magic wand. The Dodgers ritual was an extravaganza. Because they’d skipped the custom in 2006, they decided that both first- and second-year players would be subject to persecution. A bevy of players were seen boarding a plane clad like Popeye, Tarzan, Prince, a generic fat lady and — in Russell Martin’s case — Nacho Libre. Mortification, however, beats the mortician. In 2004, Indians greenhorn Kyle Denney was required to don a cheerleader’s outfit and blonde wig on the bus ride to the Kansas City airport. En route, someone fired a shot at the vehicle. The bullet lodged in the pitcher’s right calf. Fortunately, it was just a flesh wound, the projectile blocked from deeper penetration by a thick leather go-go boot.

HIT AND RUN
Short Hops’ recurring installment of slapdash observation and imprudent opinion:

We’re tired of those emotive songs at the end of crime dramas, and we’re tired of Joe Torre crying. He turned on the spigots again after the game in which the Yankees secured a Wild Card berth. “This is what it was about,” he sniffled. A Wild Card.

Sammy Sosa played in only 114 games, but his 92 RBIs were 22 more than any other Ranger. Emil Brown played in just 113, but led the Royals with a paltry 62.

Can’t say Tom Glavine didn’t save his worst for last. His Mets postseason-negating debacle was just his second start (out of 669) that he didn’t make it out of the first inning. The only other time he did that, more than eight years ago, he allowed four runs; on this occasion it was seven.

Chone Figgins, who hit .400 over one stretch of 333 at-bats, finished the year in an 0-for-22 slide.

There are whispers of the “A” word (Ankiel) surrounding Victor Zambrano. Once a solid starter with mid-90s gas, his comeback from 2006 Tommy John surgery has gone south. Twelve of the last 25 batters he faced scored; he plunked two of them while allowing eight walks and seven hits. Twenty-five of his 39 pitches against the Yankees in the season finale were balls. Problem is, Zambrano is not reincarnating as a hitter anytime soon. He’s 9-for-73 in his career.

Half of Carlos Pena’s last 36 hits were home runs.

Timo Perez and Geovany Soto each swatted .389 to lead all players who had 50 or more plate appearances. But don’t get too excited. Others to have hit that high or better as short-timers over the past 20 years include Todd Haney, Phil Clark, Rene Rivera, Jeremy Reed and Michael Ryan.

QUOTABLES
“They made me sick, they made me angry, they made me sad — whatever it is.” — Ozzie Guillen on his 72-90 White Sox.

“We couldn’t have picked a better time than this to peak.” — David Wright, after the Mets beat the Braves on September 10.

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