The secret to athletic greatness 60-plus years ago? Smoking. Lots and lots of smoking.

We can't even imagine how much Phil Collins' music was blasting on the set of this shoot. 

Check out the shades, the colorful jacket, the giant red tennis racket and moon-sized tennis ball around the 18-time Grand Slam singles champion. Apparently cocaine was rampant among ad execs in the '80s.

We're pretty sure Mickey's YooHoo bottle wasn't filled with YooHoo.

Hmmm... not so sure that tagline would work today.

We apologize; really should have had a warning before this one. But yes, the Orioles Hall of Fame pitcher did help popularize the banana hammock.

Nothing says bad-ass football player like shoulder pads, eye black and perfectly coiffed hair thickened by elegant mousse.

Note how much the tailor is sweating. Apparently he got a good peek at Mean Joe's package.

The Boz was a favorite target for fans’ animosity, but we all appreciated him in the cinematic achievement that was Stone Cold. He was better-equipped to fight in that movie than against Bo Jackson.

Speaking of Bo, these Nike campaigns were huge. No jokes here; the guy was just an amazing athlete until the injuries started. He won a Heisman and played in the all-star game of both MLB and the NFL. And he did it all shirtless.

The all-time steals leader is a tough act to follow on the diamond and with money quotes off the field. Former teammate Steve Finley to Rickey on a team flight: “You have tenure, sit wherever you want.” Henderson to Finley: “Ten years? Rickey’s been playing at least 16, 17 years.”

Behold, the Golden Bear is rocking some white short-shorts. Can’t criticize the 18-time Major winner though; just going to blame the '70s.

Speaking of old-school shorts that make you feel uncomfortable, everybody remembers a former football coach sporting these bad boys. At least the former Cowboys quarterback doesn’t have a mesh hat and gut like your high school coach.

The former Braves owner and CNN founder is dubbed “Captain Outrageous” in this ad. Of course, he did once name himself manager for a day (a loss) before it was deemed to be in violation of MLB rules. Can you imagine Turner in a baseball uniform?

Boom! Gotta love the former coach and broadcaster helping you out with car care. No doubt Brett Favre would have sponsored this as well if he had not been at Southern Miss at the time.

Is anything more '80s than those Maverick-from-Top Gun pair of Ray-Bans? You know it’s been a few years when a player (called "Mr. May" by New York owner George Steinbrenner) had to leave the Yankees to win a World Series.

Talk about an old-school ad. The former Oklahoma State and Dallas Cowboys running back was truly a cowboy, moonlighting in the offseason on the professional rodeo circuit. 

These old-school Converse shoes were classic in the 1980s, and Larry Bird and Magic Johnson were perfect pitchmen. Note just how ripped they both look.

Yes kids, that old dude on the Kardashians was a big deal. Ironically, he's hocking cameras.

Camels were apparently it for the top players back in the day. So rich, so mild!

Nothing says great dental hygiene like a pickup game in the park. 

You can almost hear the tennis great yelling at the photographer.

Mr. October definitely stirred the drink in New York. How about the old-school electronics?

The seven-time Grand Slam singles champion should be selling mustaches, not cameras. 

Sweet bike, Bob. Do they make those for men?