Short Hops: Rare Air

Randy Johnson’s two-run double was the knock that broke open the game in the D’backs’ 10-4 win over the Red Sox on Saturday. Johnson rarely says anything funny, but he joked to the media throng that, “Watching me hit...is like watching Manute Bol shoot a 3-pointer; it’s not a pleasant sight.”

We’re here to tell you it’s not even THAT pleasant, Randy. The hit raised The Big Unit’s career batting average to .127, putting a little more distance between him and Kevin Millwood (.122) for the lowest among active players with 500 plate appearances. Bol was way better. The Even Bigger Unit hit .210 (43 of 205 attempts) from beyond the arc.

MEET YOU AT THE BANK

Pitchers Carl Pavano and Eric Milton, whose meteoric careers have paralleled, were in the news simultaneously last week. Again. On the same day (Friday) the Yankees squeezed a rare BP session out of the former, they signed the latter to a minor league deal.

Each began his major league career in 1998. Both peaked six years later — Pavano in an 18-win season for the Marlins, Milton at 14-6 for the Phillies. That December, within two weeks of each other, both were buried in Benjamins — the former with the Yankees, the latter with the Reds. Since then, the pair has combined for 21 wins and 33 losses. In 2007, both collected $10 million, and both underwent Tommy John surgery — again within a two-week period.

Milton’s mega-contract has expired, but Pavano is making even more than that in the final year of his pact this season. Together, they’ve pocketed in excess of $65 million since ’05. Just two guys trying to earn a living

HIT AND RUN

Short Hops’ recurring installment of slapdash observation and imprudent opinion:

Seattle closer Brandon Morrow has allowed five earned runs this year — all on solo homers.

Speaking of the 37-58 team that was the fashionable (Athlon excluded) choice to win the AL West, Willie Bloomquist fell five days short of going a year without getting an extra-base hit. His ground rule double on the 10th was his first in 88 games.

Cliff Lee has walked only two of the 137 left-handed batters he’s faced.

Francisco Rodriguez is a Cy Young Award candidate, but it’s not certain the Angels will pay the necessary megabucks to re-sign him. Already in the house is young closer-to-be Jose Arredondo, who’s amidst a streak of 10 hitless innings.

The disintegration of Andruw Jones was officially an ash heap by Saturday, when he struck out five times — all swinging. He’s now whiffed 59 times in 169 at-bats, a rate that projects to right around 200 for a full season.

Say, what the hey’s Willie Mays’ problem? During his All-Star Game introduction, he looked like Carl Erskine had just stuck one in his earhole, like the only guy on the field not having the time of his life. Then he completely snubbed Josh Hamilton’s attempt at a greeting.

QUOTABLES

“I don’t like a player like Barry Bonds on my ballclub. He’s a Hall of Famer, to me the best player in the history of baseball no matter what. But he’s not the type of player we’re looking for in this organization.” — Ozzie Guillen on the growing speculation that some AL team will cave and sign the toxic tater king.