Short Hops: Questions and answers

Q: Who would you rather have as your stopper, Andy Pettitte or Brandon Webb?

A: Yeah, we thought so. But now consider this: Both have incurred 37 defeats in starts immediately following Yankees and Diamondbacks losses, respectively. Pettitte, however, has won 75 times, Webb just 31.

Q: Where do all those authenticated balls from key games come from?

A: When David Bush carried a no-hitter deep into a start last week (it ended in the eighth), some guy was assigned to sit behind the ball boy and collect every ball that came out of the game. So that’s how they do it.

Q: Did Russ change his name from Bunyon to Branyan?

A: We think so. The Brewers’ nominal third baseman has homered 10 times in his 74 at-bats since being called up a month ago. Playing for his fourth team in less than a year, he now has more homers (131) than anyone in history with fewer than 2,000 at-bats except for Ryan Howard (148). Then again, he also holds the record (by far) for most strikeouts (non-pitchers); his 781 are 181 ahead of Howard, who’s second.

Q: Who’s the best pitcher in baseball?

Ben Sheets — “no doubt,” says his manager, Ned Yost. The Brewers skipper related that, in his eight years as Braves bullpen coach and the last six as Brewers manager, Sheets’ four-hit dominance of Atlanta on Monday was just the second time no reliever even warmed up in during game.

Q: Where have you gone Cal Ripken Jr.?

A: Somewhere other than Denver. Rockies manager Clint Hurdle sat Willy Taveras on Tuesday because he said his centerfielder needed a rest after making 10 consecutive starts.

GREAT SCOT(T)S

The event is so rare that’s it’s been accomplished only 22 times in American League history, but Scott Baker and Scot Shields both struck out four batters in one inning last week. It’s not the first time two pitchers have done it in such close proximity, however; it happened in 1999, when Tim Wakefield and Chuck Finley pulled it off. Finley is a significant name in this historical nook, as he’s the only man to have done it more than once — and he did it three times.

HIT AND RUN

Short Hops’ recurring installment of slapdash observation and imprudent opinion:

Angel Berroa, one of the biggest Rookie of the Year busts in history, is back in the bigs with the Dodgers. On Saturday, he had three hits off C.C. Sabathia, a pitcher against whom he’d been 1-for-40.

Dice-K’s 8-0 start ended in spectacular fashion with a one-inning/seven-run start against the Cardinals. Hideki Irabu once was on the plus side of eight straight decisions — then won only eight more games (against 19 losses) the rest of his career. We’re just sayin’.

Ozzie Guillen has a profane, public hissyfit, the White Sox go on a tear, and pundits throughout the land proclaim him a mad, motivational genius. John McLaren does the same, the Mariners go moribund and he gets fired. It’s coincidence, folks. Those teams are what they are — an average team in a weak division and weak team in an average division, respectively.

QUOTABLES

“You go to take batting practice and the rats are bigger than pigs out there. You want to take a look? I think the rats are lifting weights.” — Guillen disrespecting Wrigley Field.